Take No Chances
By:  Tess
Rating:  PG
Timeline:  Inspired by the picture that is making
the rounds
Disclaimer:  Fox's, 1013's.  Not mine.
Archiving:  Yes, but I'd like to know where so I
can visit.
Summary:  There was nothing which could entice her
to risk their lives 
together.
Email:  tnv099@aol.com


Note:  Thanks to my friends for their recent
impersonation as a group of cheerleaders.  It's
been a long time since I've written anything and
your enthusiasm is greatly appreciated.


Take No Chances


She stopped by the supermarket to pick up a few
things for dinner then made the short drive from
the market to their house.  As she pulled into the 
driveway, she noted that Mulder was already home.
She gave an appreciative glance at the small stone
house with its neatly painted shutters.  They had 
spent the first couple of years after they ran from
D.C., hiding in various motels and run-down rentals
before finally deciding that they were, perhaps, 
safest and less conspicuous if they just lived what
appeared to be a normal life in a normal
neighborhood.  Even if said normal life was lived
under an alias.

She grabbed her purse and slid out of the car.  She
shivered as a cold breeze swirled around her and
sent a wistful glance at the tender shoots of 
daffodils just beginning to poke their way through
the tidy flower beds.  Though the budding greenery
whispered of spring, the bare tree limbs swaying 
in the chilly wind were proof that winter had not
entirely released its frigid grip.

She climbed the short flight of steps to the porch
and stepped into the foyer of the house.  

"I'm home," she called out as she bumped the door
closed with her hip.  At her entrance, Mulder rose
from the sofa.

"I've only got one bag."  She waved him back toward
the sofa but he continued down the short hallway
toward her.  She shifted her purse and the grocery
bag into one hand and idly flipped through the
small stack of mail piled on a table in the foyer.

"Scully," he murmured and in that one word she
recognized trouble.  She looked up cautiously and
met his sad gaze.

"I have bad news..."

Her purse and the grocery bag fell from suddenly
nerveless fingers and thudded onto the hardwood.

"Mulder... what?  William?  Has something happened
to him?"  Her voice was panicked.

"No.  Scully, it's your mother.  She's..."

Her shoulders sagged as relief over William's
continued safety warred with sudden grief.  "She's
dead?"

His hands reached for hers and he stepped close. 
"I'm so sorry."

Scully spun on her heel and yanked the door open
again.  She stumbled down the steps and Mulder
followed her outside.  He reached out with one hand
and grabbed her by the back of the coat, stopping
her in her tracks.

"Scully... wait."

She dropped her head forward as he turned her
toward him.  She took several shallow breaths and
studied the tips of his boots with tear-blurred
eyes.  

"When? How?"

"A couple of days ago.  Skinner got a message
through to me.  He only just found out today.  She
had been in the hospital... some kind of virus or 
infection, I guess."

She nodded and continued to stare towards the
ground.  Her long hair fell forward, hiding her
face from him.  He lifted one hand and pushed a
heavy lock behind her ear.

"The funeral is the day after tomorrow," he
whispered.

Another gust of wind kicked up around them and he
shivered as the cold bit through his t-shirt.  

"You should go back inside," she said dully.  "It's
cold out here and you're not dressed for it."

"Come inside with me," he pleaded.

She shook her head.  "No," she said in a tight
voice.  "I don't want to go in yet."  She liked the
cold.  It gave her an excuse for the numbness
stealing through her body.

"I think you should go," he told her.

Scully looked up in confusion.  "Go...?"

"To the funeral," he clarified.

"I can't, Mulder.  How?  There's no..."  She shook
her head in automatic denial. "I can't," she
repeated.

"Scully... your mother's funeral... surely we can
find a way."  He pulled her even closer and she
nestled her head against his chest.

They stayed like that for a while.  She inhaled
deeply, drawing his scent deep into her lungs,
taking comfort from the familiarity of his strong
arms wrapped around her and the steady rise and
fall of his chest beneath her cheek.  She worked
hard to control her breathing, to keep the tears at
bay, but they betrayed her anyway, soaking into the
soft, blue cotton of his shirt. 

After a little time had passed, he began to speak
again, his voice a soft rumble above her head.

"I thought about it while I waited for you to get
home," he began.  "I don't see any way that we
could both go without arousing attention, but you
might be able to slip in unnoticed... you'd have to
disguise yourself somehow, but I think it could be
done."

She shook her head.  "What's the point?  I wouldn't
even be able to talk to Bill or Charlie and I
couldn't see her and not... and not..."  Her voice 
broke and she shuddered.

"The point?"  He sighed.  "She's your mother.  I
want you to have the chance to say goodbye."

Her muscles tightened at the thought of that
goodbye and he rubbed soothing hands over her back. 
She relaxed back into his chest.  She tried to pick
her way through a minefield of the logistics
necessary to accomplish what he was proposing but
grief and shock were making her thoughts sluggish. 
Could she have done something if she had been
there... had her mother been asking for her?  Had
she wondered why she didn't come?

She took a deep breath and sniffed back her tears,
forcing herself to think clearly.  She fell back
into logic and reason and orderly thought by force
of long habit and found strange comfort there.

She wanted - desperately - to be there.  She needed
- badly - to see her mother one last time.  To
touch her hand, stroke her hair.  Press a final 
kiss against that beloved face.   To take comfort
from the rituals of the funeral Mass and murmur
prayers over her mother's grave.  To see her
brothers and find ease in their embraces.  To
reminisce with the only two people left who knew
Margaret Scully as mother and to spend time with
the only two people left who knew her as 'Dana'. 
She believed it her duty, as Margaret Scully's 
only surviving daughter, to bear witness as she was
laid to rest.

But that was her heart speaking.

Logically, she knew. She knew that their enemies
had not stopped looking for them.  And she knew
that they would be searching for her, expecting her
to try to slip into the funeral unnoticed.  Knew
that her grief would be too apparent to anyone
looking and that no disguise could hide her.  

She knew, too, that if she were apprehended... When
she did not immediately return, she knew nothing
would keep Mulder from following her.

Scully had sacrificed many things in her life.  Her
career, her home, her family and, at times, her
health.  

She had even sacrificed her chance to mother the
only child she would ever bear.  William... gone
from her arms, likely forever.  He was her
continued sacrifice and not a day went by that she
didn't grieve the loss of her son from her life,
but still she carried on.

The one thing Dana Scully knew she could not
sacrifice was her life with Mulder.  She wasn't
sure what it said about her both as a mother and a 
woman... that she could go on without her precious
son, but could not bear the thought of not having
this man in her life.  She reminded herself that 
William had been given up with a strength borne
from a mother's passionate belief that it was the
only way to protect her child - to protect Mulder's 
child - from harm and that she would do anything to
keep him safe.  Even if it meant that she could
never see him again.  

But the woman... the woman needed Mulder.  She had
lost him once, buried him, and believed him gone
from her forever and had it not been for the child 
nestled under her heart, she knew that she would
have given up.  She knew herself to be too selfish
to imagine her world without him.  Didn't think 
that she could let him go even if it was for his
own good.  Once perhaps, she could have, but no
longer.   

It simply was no longer enough to know that Mulder
existed in the world.  She needed to see him.  She
needed to wake up next to him.  To share
conversation with him from across the dinner table. 
To laugh with him and cry with him.  To share the
mundane as well as the extraordinary.  To cradle
him in her arms and take him into her body.   

The end they were fighting against loomed
frighteningly large in the near future and if they
should fail, they would take comfort in each
other's nearness.  And if they should succeed, take
joy.

There was nothing which could entice her to risk
their lives together.  She loved him. It was both
simple and complex.  He was... generous,
complicated, frustrating, intelligent, annoying,
sexy, fascinating... He was the love of her life.

Scully lifted her head from his chest and rubbed
her smooth cheek against his bristled jaw.  He
tenderly drew the collar of her coat together under
her chin and pressed a kiss to her mouth.  He
reached down to entwine one of his hands with hers
and wrapped his free arm around her waist.

"I'm not going."  She closed her eyes and pressed
her forehead to his. 

He watched her face with hooded eyes.  "I
understand why, but, Scully... your mother..."

"I won't risk it." 

Agitated, he rubbed his forehead against hers.  

"I don't want you to regret it."

"I'd regret more being separated from you.  I
can't... I won't take the chance." 

He worried his lip between his teeth.

"Scully," His voice was little more than a mournful
sigh.

She took a deep breath.  "Mulder..." She sighed. "I
think my mother would understand.  I think she does
understand.  I mean, after all, she spent her 
entire marriage uprooting her children, dragging us
from base to base.  Of course, she believed it was
important to keep the family together, but more, 
I think, she did it because she loved my father and
would follow him anywhere."

She huffed out a watery chuckle.  "She always said
that I was exactly like my father, but in this
respect... in this respect, I am every inch my
mother's daughter."

She opened her eyes and stared into his.  "I told
you before, Mulder... I'd follow you anywhere."

End

It's been so long since I've written anything.  I'd
forgotten how much fun it can be... and how scary. 
I appreciate that you took the time to read this.

www.tessfiles.com