Title: Before the Lions Take Their Share Author: Alice J. Foster (a.k.a. shipperfey) Summary: Like cosmic dust, their relationship is extremely volatile under certain atmospheric conditions. Spoilers: XF2: I Want To Believe Category/Classification: Vignette, MSR Characters/Pairing: Mulder/Scully Rating: PG-13 Written: 07/31/2008 A/N: Title comes from Snow Patrol's song "You're All I Have," from the Eyes Open album. All lyrics are from the same album. Thanks to: This story is dedicated to Aidy, who wrote movie smut and dedicated it to me, and also to Dasha, who's been recommending awe-inspiring post-movie fics that jarred my muse into action. Beta: Supershineygirl is a goddess. I did add a lot of things after she took a look at this, so any mistakes are my own fault. 1. All this feels strange and untrue And I won't waste a minute without you As the 'fasten your seatbelt' signs turn on, she grips the edge of the armrest even tighter. She's nervous, but it has little to do with the air pocket they've just hit, several thousand feet above Miami. "Relax, Scully," he whispers against her ear. She watches as his plastic cup drops to the ground, courtesy of the turbulence around them - the same cup he's been using to discard his sunflower seed shells. She bites her tongue as she fights the urge to comment on the mess - they aren't home, it's not her problem. They're supposed to be on vacation. Vacation. Just what were they thinking? Normal couples went on vacation, to get away from their normal lives. In fifteen years, they have never done anything the normal way. Even after they'd settled into their new life, her new job, it still took months for her to stop looking over her shoulder every minute of every day. Their impromptu trip is bringing old fears back to the surface. "You're thinking too much," Mulder points out, and she sighs because he is too damn perceptive for her liking - when he wants to be, that is. "I'm still not sure this is a good idea," she explains. She's pretty sure he is still the more paranoid out of the two of them - she remembers the way his eyes meticulously scanned the crowd at the airport before they boarded the plane - but either he's gotten better at hiding it for her sake, or he's convinced that interrupting their spontaneous vacation ranks pretty low on their enemies' list of concerns. "It's a vacation. What better way to celebrate the fact I'm not longer a wanted man?" he asks with a smile, and she melts just a little. He's right, she should relax - their running days are officially over, at least for the time being. "I have it on good authority that you're still definitely wanted," she adds with a hint of mischief, feeling her nervousness become a distant memory. "Is that right, Dr. Scully?" She nods as she meets him halfway for a kiss that's over far too quick. As they settle back into their seats, she rests her head on his shoulder, hoping to catch some sleep before they land. As she begins to doze off, she feels him taking her cold fingers in his warm hands, and she hates the fact that she seems to always be cold these days. She's not sure how, but sometime during her sleep, he manages to reach above their heads and shut off the air vents without disturbing her. 2. Give me a chance to hold on Just give me something to hold onto He watches her from the bar as he waits for their drinks to be prepared. The sand still feels strange under his toes, even though they've been here for couple of days. The setting sun really shows off her new pinkish tan - more of a sunburn-induced glow - and it takes his breath away. A vacation was definitely a good idea. He is still surprised at how much he is enjoying himself, on his first vacation that has nothing to do with aliens, Elvis or conspiracy theories. The whole thing was meant for Scully's benefit - it's not as if his current existence is tiresome or stressful. Before the FBI showed up, the highlight of his year had been finally fixing their house's plumbing problems. Boredom is a dangerous state of mind. "First vacation together?" Mulder blinks as he redirects his attention, from Scully's current swimwear attire, to a less pleasant, middle-aged man sitting on one of the palm-tree stumps that passed for barstools. "I'm sorry?" "You haven't taken your eyes off your companion. Kind of screams honeymoon," the man replies as he peels the label off his beer bottle. "I'm recently divorced myself. Brought my ex- wife down here on one of our anniversaries... bitch complained the whole time: 'the sun's too hot, the water's too cold, the food is too expensive.' Told myself I'd come back on my own someday and have a good time." It's not the first time they've been confused for a married couple, although they've never been accused of being on their honeymoon before. He doesn't correct the man's assumption, seeing as the inebriated man seems quite content in carrying on the conversation without outside input. Most of these days Mulder just lets people believe they're husband and wife - correcting them tends to lead to questions he has no answers for. He feels far too old to be a boyfriend, and he's pretty sure Scully feels similarly. The word partner brings too many connotations from their past and it feels weird to use it to describe their current relationship. Significant other puts them anywhere between 'good friends' and 'unofficially living together;' they've been past that for several years now. The drunk man is still telling tales of his failed marriage when the female bartender shows up with their order. Mulder mutters a quick goodbye to the man before making his way back to his indefinable companion. 3. There is a darkness deep in you A frightening magic I cling to Their bungalow isn't about to win any awards from the hospitality industry, but she has fallen in love with its porch - the mesh privacy screen keeps bugs out, without obscuring their view from the inside. Darkness surrounds them, the literal kind for once, and she feels completely relaxed on top of him. She'd been skeptical about the lounge chair's ability to handle their combined weight, but Mulder, ever the believer, assured her it was sturdy enough to allow for the two of them to relax. He'd been right. Her chin is digging into his breastbone, but he doesn't complain and she doesn't move. If she gets her robe or a blanket, she's pretty sure she can fall asleep like this. It kind of annoys her that it's eighty-seven degrees around them and she still feels a distinct chill, but his hand is traveling up and down her spine in a hypnotic fashion, and it's enough to make her forget about the cold. He smells like saltwater, and she thinks she could definitely get used to it. "Do you want to get married?" he asks, and she freezes in his arms. "Married?" she repeats, raising her head to look him in the eyes. He nods. "Do you want to get married, Mulder?" He shrugs. "We never really considered it before, but since my status as a lawful citizen has been reinstated, I figured maybe it's something we could think about..." "We'll think about it," she whispers as she lets her lips run over the stubble coating his jaw. Think about it she does. It's about seven years too late for a shotgun wedding, but she doesn't point that out - some wounds were re-opened during their short recent stint with the FBI, and they have to let them heal again. Marriage at this point wouldn't change much, if anything, between them - she's not sure if there was a time when it would have. She's pretty sure he's only suggesting it because he thinks it's yet another thing he feels he took away from her when they had to run. Like cosmic dust, their relationship is extremely volatile under certain atmospheric conditions. And recent events have reminded her just how volatile it can be. Just a few weeks ago, she had been ready to walk away from him, from their life together - this is probably not the right time, or mindset, to take vows. Love or commitment to one another has never been the issue - but even though she would trade her life to save Mulder's in a heartbeat, and she knows he would do the same, there are still times when their own demons come between them. She has experience in saving Mulder from himself, but she's learned over the years she can't do that if she doesn't save herself first. She needs to be willing to walk away sometimes, when it really matters - time apart to put herself back together, before they're both broken beyond repair. There's no doubt of her willingness to spend the rest of her life with him, but attesting to that commitment at the moment, before God and the state, is a different matter. This is not the kind of decision she can make overnight. 4. A magic trick makes the world disappear The skies are dark, they're dark but they're clear On their last day at the cozy bungalow, he wakes up before dawn, surprised to find the spot on the bed next to him empty. Sometimes he thinks she's trying to prove she can be as good an insomniac as he can. There's little chance he'll be able to fall back asleep, so he gets out of bed and throws on a pair of boxers and yesterday's t- shirt. He doesn't have to walk far to find her, standing at the water's edge as the tide looks like it's starting to come in. "Couldn't sleep?" He asks as he stands behind her and places his hands over her shoulders. "Just wanted to watch the sun rise," she replies, turning to nuzzle the top of one of his hands with her cheek. Her strawberry blonde hair brushes against his skin, and he marvels at the softness of the strands. Back when they had first started running, her hair had been dyed a few times; she'd recently complained about being unable to get it back to the old shade. Aesthetic upkeep had been low on their list of priorities at the time - it still ranks pretty low on his - and he hadn't stopped to give it much consideration. Now that he thinks about it, he's grown fond the new color and length. "You know, Mulder," she says as she stares at the horizon, "I think I wouldn't mind living here." "I'm sure you wouldn't," he assures her, even though he doesn't think she really means it. One of the many things he's learned about her is that she can make any place a home, with very little effort. He loves their old house, with its bad heating and faulty wiring that turns the garbage disposal on every time they do laundry - but he can understand the attraction to this place. The whole point of paradisiacal vacation spots is to lure people and make them fall in love with the location after a few days. Once the novelty wears off, and hurricane season starts, the perception of the situation tends to change quite drastically. He doesn't bring these points up, because if she is serious about moving here, he won't have the heart to stop her. At least here, if Invasion-Day came, they could take a rowboat to a nearby deserted island, let the rest of the world figure the whole mess out on its own. The two of them would spend the rest of their days arguing over what was the best way to build a cabin out of banana tree leaves. He doesn't really care where the hell they end up, as long as he's with her. the end