by Susan
5 years ago
Title: process Author: Susan Email: Classification: prose thingie---Wow, I haven't written one of these in a while.:) Episode: Three Words Archive: No archive without permission. Disclaimer: These characters belong to each other, not me. Notes: That scene in Three Words when Scully first brought Mulder back to his apartment was heartbreakingly difficult to watch, and I wished that Mulder's feelings about being alive had been explored in much more depth. At the time this episode originally aired, I wrote a lot of vignettes about Mulder's struggles because I felt cheated out of all the emotions we should've seen from both him and Scully after all they'd been through. Having recently seen that scene on TV again in syndication, I was inspired to write this.:) Summary: how do i fit back into her life? how does she fit into mine? **************************************************** process by susan ~~~~ bare skin raw and exposed cheeks broken and stretched blades slicing through my chest not once but twice i see it feel it hear it live it over and over again and though the pain has subsided over time it's still there it'll always be there she doesn't understand what i've been through being lost to her forever then being back again just as i don't understand what she's been through losing me forever then having me here again how do i fit back into her life? how does she fit into mine? and the baby a precious little baby a new life is growing inside of her just as i'm trying to start my own new life how can i take care of her and a baby? how can she possibly expect me to when i don't even know how to take care of myself? right now i don't fit in with anything or if i even want to try to all i know is that i'm here in an apartment that shouldn't be mine anymore but is listening to the woman i love carrying an innocent baby that shouldn't be mine but is how can i possibly process all of that? how can i possibly even think about taking my life back when i don't even know if i want it again? the truth is that right now i can't ~end~ Thanks for reading. possibilities Originally posted July 2017.